Pretending
by Kanashimi Raven
Summary: Iki Hyori was good at pretending. Pretending not to see the world around her for what it really was and what those close to her said about her. But it's impossible to keep pretending forever. Eventually one becomes too exhausted. She has to open her heart to someone, to find comfort and relief, but what if that someone might be just as good at pretending as she is..


Hiyori Iki was good at pretending.

She pretended not to notice the way her female friends gave her pitying looks- some laced with jealousy others with sadness. She pretended not to see the oogling stares from those strange men she sometimes received on the streets.

She pretended not hear the way her classmates gossiped about her, and her 'weird'- spoiled, behaviour. The way her parents would at times stay up late in the kitchen and argue over her seemingly-none-existing future. Her lack of desire for prosperity or a wealthy suitor, and how they feared she'd ' stray off the right path' or get involved with ' really horrible people' – if only they knew how close to the truth they were, she'd muse to herself. Or the way they spoke about her abandoning her studies along with university. Again, they were closer to the truth than she wished to admit, abandoning studies had actually crossed her mind on many occasions.

She also pretended not to see the way Yukine felt about her.

It was a strange thought- one that gripped her heart in pain and made her cast her eyes down in almost shame- but a frequently reappearing one none the less. She knew little about the Shiki boy except that deep down he was a kind soul who died before his time and that despite his strong façade he was actually scared, lonely and bitter on the inside. Without any friends nor biological family to take care of him or for him to turn to- Hiyori found it almost natural that they'd grow close.

They both had others deciding for them, especially concerning who they were _allowed_ and not allowed to be and what they were supposed to do with their lives. He had Yato to look after him and order him around, while she had her parents and her older brother along with the entire society seemingly breathing down her neck.

 **Of course** she was to take over the family hospital after her brother proved to be no good. **And naturally** she'd marry a man of high social status- have children and live a socially 'normal and acceptable-life. No wrestling nor Kami and shiki- those things were stories for little children and if she were to ever mention being a half phantom and that her ' odd sleeping habits' were actually her soul taking a stroll around town' she'd be put within the asylum faster than she could yell ' Yato help!'

It was nervwreking. The fact that she couldn't share her experiences with anyone who'd be able to support her from a 'human' point of view. It was painful having to lie to her friends and her family that she was okay, and that the reason she was this pale was actually from the stress at school and _not_ something unfair and horrific she got to witness within the Kami world. The fact that she had to pretend to be a ' normal girl' was torturing her-

 _"Do you have anyone you like in your class, Hiyori? Or a guy in general_?" The question her mother put forth during dinner had gotten her frozen in spot, her rice almost falling off her chopsticks.

 _" A guy I like?"_ She had faked thinking seriousely about that- even put her bowl of rice back onto the table in order to appear as honest about her answer as she could possibly be.

" _He doesn't have to be wealthy, Hiyori. If you like someone, you know me and your father would want you to be honest with us about it, even if he is of low social status"_ But only as long as he's 'human' she added in her mind. 

_" No."_ Yes

 _" Is that so?"_ Her parents moved to bring up her one or two childhood crushes.

 _" Yes, dad. I don't have anyone I fancy at the moment."_ She tried to keep her voice as low of irritation as possible and her cheeks from blossing a rosy pink at just the thought of a certain guy whom smelled so so nice-

Hours after the incident, Hiyori was still pulling her hair out in her room in order so somehow supress the guilt of lying to her parents- again. It made her want to cry and scream, made her want to hit herself or throw away something she held dear in order to punish herself for her sins. She was horrible- constant lies she fed her parents while giving them fake smiles even if they were only worried for her wellbeing, were just the tips of the iceberg. Yato and co. were a whole new topic.

She felt like she couldn't take much more of this before she'd break. These emotions, this pain, was driving her insane. Her mind was never simply at peace- it was always playing and replying and making up different scenarios which all ended in the same- death and her losing either her human life, or her precious half phantom one. Hiyori was walking the thin string in between the two worlds and with each passing day- each passing moment, she felt like she was getting closer to falling off. Her head was splitting apart- the stress eating away at her appetite and precious hours of sleep. The fatigue, the not-finished homework and tests.

She couldn't take it anymore. The inability to share her grief and troubles with someone who'd understand and help her. The-

" Hiyori?" the high school girl jumped up- startled by the sudden appearance of someone behind her- before spinning around.

" Yukine!" She forced a smile and a cheerful tone, one that that Yatos Regalia clearly didn't buy.

" You okay?" He approached her slowly- cautiously, as though she were an animal he didn't quite know what to expect out of.

" Of course. There's nothing wrong, don't worry." Seeing his expression she hastily added " it's just school stress."

He nodded a bit, looking a bit uncomfortable now. " Do you want me to come back some other time?"

Hiyori shook her head and stood up from her desk so Yukine could sit down in her chair. " No, don't worry about it. Let's get started, there was something in maths you didn't get right?" Yukine relaxed a bit more and perched in her chair while pulling his books out and flickering to the right page.

Hiyori took one look at his notebook before laughing slightly. " Was Yato not letting you concentrate?"

Yukine blushed while mumbling something along the lines of it being a grave understatement.

They started working, sitting closely side by side, they were discussing the homework Hiyori as usually signed to Yukine. Both so close their arms were touching but they pretended not to notice it, instead she was being her usual strict self and Yukine was doing his best to correct his mistakes as fast as possible in order to appease her.

She moved just a tiny bit closer, not having the strengths to get out of her chair in order to close the still-opened window. Then, Hiyori pretended no to notice the way Yukine's cheeks turned pink. While Yukine pretended not to notice the way goosebumps raised on her arms , the way one of her hands was clenched into a fist and was shaking slightly. Was she cold or was she perhaps scared of something?

They were both faking ignorance, neither dearing to step over that thin line and pressing a bit further on the problems they both shared. It was like a silent agreement- a vow neither of them dared to break in fear of what kinds of truth would swim up and how this would change the relationship they had with each other, and with Yato.

They forgot all about their homework- too lost in their thoughts. Yukine was worrying about his job as regalia and what kind of life this fate had for him. Would he come out of this alive? Would this fate be a happy one, or was it lonely and tragic?

What was he thinking! He wasn't even alive in the first place. Just a ghost- a soul from the other side serving a god. He wasn't like Hiyori who had a family and friends, who could communicate with both the living and the gods. He-

Their eyes met, both equally surprised about it, and yet neither willing to break contact. They wanted to be comforted, wanted someone to understand their troubles and be able to relate to them. They needed someone- and that someone was each other.

Suddenly their lips touched lightly, a gentle sensation which spread heat throughout their entire bodies.

It was so very wrong, yet they tried to find reasons as to why this could be acceptable. Why it was okay- trying to justify the sweet pleasure in a decent manner.

Hiyori thought, that maybe, they could cheezily blame it onto their hormones. That maybe the fact that they were of two different' spices' didn't matter

Besides he was only 14 at the time of his death- just a year younger than she is now. Maybe, they were the same age since she never did find out his date of death. He was about just as developed as she was, and seemingly just as inexperienced. That didn't make the kiss any less enjoyable or reassuring- in fact it made her feel calmer since she knew he wouldn't be comparing her to his past.

They broke apart, panting softly for air. Yukine looked like he wanted to jump away from her as though she were fire, and run as far as he could. He wanted to pretend this never happened and then just continue their platonic relationship as it was. But her hand on his arm turned his legs to jelly. He remained sitting in her chair, blushing and shivering- shaking while he studied her every move, every breath. Now that Yukine looked closely, her fringe was actually a lot darker at the base than at the tips and she had a ring of black around her eyes- like a frame.

For a second they both wondered, what lead to this?

Hiyori had never had these kinds of feelings for him, never noticed him as anything more than her baby brother. But now that she actually took her time to look at him, she realized just how cute and _lovable_ he was. His rare eyes, blond hair which was so soft to touch- like the brush of a feather, and wide smile. So trusting and yet in so much pain. She felt like he was stronger than her, so much stronger- but that even he was near his limits. The things his voice couldn't say, his tongue didn't twist to form were right there, laid out before her in his eyes. The fear of not remembering who he was, or why he died. The uncertainty, the restrictions and the tasks of taking care and putting up with his master were pulling on his ropes. And he was just as tired, hungry and breathless from all this, just as worried, terrified of the future and suffocating from the silence as she was.

They were so much alike, neither really wanting this kind of life from the start but now they were involved in it- they could never let go, not for the world.

He must have been swimming in love confessions when he was alive, she mused as her thumb brushed his burning cheeks and then the skin under his eyes tenderly, watching how he averted his gaze from hers in embarrassment, and he surely had a girlfriend back then too. It didn't stop her from leaning forward and kissing him again, kissing him as though he were her oxygen. Didn't stop her from tangling her hands in his hair and pulling him closer, closer, so close in fact that she could barely distinguish between where her body ended and his begun. The only thing reminding her were the suddenly uncomfortable clothes- a hindrance and a nuisance, and his shaky hands as he held onto her, explored her skin all the while shaking in fear.

It wasn't wrong, she tried to reassure herself as one by one clothes items found their way onto her floor. It wasn't a crime or a sin they were about to commit. She wasn't about to give to him the 'thing' which defined her worth as a woman and he was not just about to betray his master. They weren't betraying or defying anyone's rules.

They wanted it- needed it in order to keep up with their controlled lives and the unknown future. They needed it, just like they needed sleep and craved it just as much as man in a desert craved water. They had to speak, had to reassure each other that they were not alone in this. That they had each other in case the feelings and pain became too much to bare.

She dropped to her knees in front of him and kissed all the skin she could get to, wanting him to forget about thinking- to not thing of the dirty thoughts which might transmit to his master. She wanted his mind to be blank or just hazy with pleasure, while giving his thoughts finally some rest. His hands tangled in her hair gently, running his fingers through her brown tassels he pulled her closer, gasping her name. Yukine felt exposed, embarrassed but all he could do was pull her closer, craving to feel more of her lips on him.

In all honesty, Hiyori didn't know if what she was doing was wrong or right, or how she was supposed to achieve her goals, but he was there. Yukine, just as inexperienced and shy but so sweet and caring was there, guiding her and helping her- reassuring her.

Soon their roles became reversed and it was him who was giving her mind a rest. Him, who was reassuring her that something _this good_ could never be a shameful sin. He was so gentle with her, each touch so unfamiliar and yet It left her breathlessly holding his hand tighter in hers or pulling his hot body against her flustered one. No matter how much they touched and kissed, the closeness was not enough.

Hiyori pushed the books off the desk, pausing for a brief moment when they crashed to the floor before moving onto the table. Yukine followed along with her moments, his lips never once leaving her skin. The skin he had craved to touch for years and years. Her breasts, large and firm fit nicely in his hands. The way she gasped and moaned was nice too. The blush she sprout and the way she rubbed her thighs together.

" Yukine-kun.." her hand was guiding him down her shaking body. Her legs already spread wide for him, waiting for him to touch her. Craving for him to please her. Yukine gulped and she giggled, the sound soft as it echoed through the room.

" Have you ever seen one, Yukine-kun?" he shook his head, his fingers slowly rubbing her pearl as he stared in amazement at her. How she gasped out at his touch and pulled him closer, her body moving against his fingers while her head was thrown back. The lewd sounds captivated him. The way she panted heavily and the sound of his fingers rubbing against her wet flesh.

" Does it feel good, Hiyori-chan?" her reply was spreading her legs even wider as more juices spilled out of her hole. It made Yukine swallow as he rubbed her harder before he reached down and grasped his own cock in his hand and then positioning it right at her entrance.

They craved more, more and more. Just a little more pleasure, just a little more sweetness to wipe away the pain.

Yukine pushed inside her only to pull back out and then push back inside, rougher and needier. Their muffled cries echoing around the room, drowned down by the sound of him thrusting into her wet entrance over and over again, continuing on even after the dark haired girl came with a cry of his name.

They had ventured too far and at this point Yukine would be damned if he'd stop until getting as much pleasure as possible from her..

Most of the night passed by too quickly for their liking and when they woke up the next day they couldn't help but blush yet smile at each other. It was, for once in such a long time, a sincere smile. And the kiss they shared was just as sweet as the memories of their night together. So gentle and yet craving- finally the two felt like they could breathe a little bit deeper and that the stress was not about to crush them. Their minds, were blank and their hold on each other was so soft yet warm. It made them understand – and even hope- that they were not all alone in this hopeless world. After all, they had each other.

Hours later they met up with Yato at a nearby café, Hiyori planning to treat the two for breakfast. The mentioned before god was wearing a knowing look on his face, as though he could see right through them. His lips were pulled up down in an artistic pout but his eyes were ice cold, hurting ones.

" How come Yukine got to spend the night with you, Hiyori and not me?" he cried In the usual exaggerated style, clinging to the woman in an indecent manor.

" We just fell asleep while doing maths." Hiyori stated in her usual unimpressed tone at Yato's suggested manner of speaking, after she Jungle Savate'd him away from her. She made sure to quickly cover for the both of them while Yukine regained control over the light blush on his cheeks. It wasn't long however before Yato begun pestering Yukine about the issue and two men got involved in an argument concerning Yukines 'supposedly dirty thoughts'.

'Ohh if only Yato knew', she thought all the while pretending not to understand the reason behind Yato scolding Yukine so harshly for those kinds of thoughts. She also pretended not to hear the jealousy in Yato's tone, and the annoyance at the fact that the younger of the two, got to spend the night with her.

Hiyori had always been good at pretending.

She had been pretending about a lot of things to a lot of people around her. Covering the truth with lies made up on spot and pretending not to understand the 'adults or mature talk' to prevent herself from saying something by accident. She had been pretending not to understand these things for as long as she could remember, So what difference would another item on the mile-long list of things to lie about make in her already sin-filled life?

None what-so-ever, she reasoned. Even if now, they'd have to lie to a god (possibly more than just Yato) and pretend that they were still innocent. That they were just friends, brother and sister maybe, and that their hugs and late night study sessions were only about that. About studying and hanging out as friends. They'd have to pretend that they still hadn't found anyone to share their problems with, pretend that the reason behind their smiles was something other than each other.

In all honesty, she worried that Yukine might break. That he might not be able to handle another sin, another thing to be silent about and another thing to fret and stress over but, as she came to realize that day, Yukine was also good at pretending to not 'understand' what was said around them.

Apparently they were more than brilliant at pretending, so good in fact that she sincerely doubted that anyone would find out the truth…

Right?!


End file.
